Soc.Culture.Jewish Newsgroups
Frequently Asked Questions and Answers

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< Q8.12 TOC Q8.14 >

Question 8.13:
Weddings: How do Jews find Mates?


Tradition provides the thought that good matches are beshert (destined, or designed in heaven). The Talmud says that forty days prior to the birth of a child, a heavenly voice proclaims who that child will marry. You will often see Jewish singles ads where one indicates they are looking for their beshert.

Traditionally, parents often relied on the services of a shadchan (matchmaker) to bring their child a proper spouse. This is typically only done today in very traditional communities, although many use the modern equivalent (dating services). Today, Jews find their mates in the same way as any one else: introductions from trusted friends and relatives, at social gatherings, and though their life experiences. There is a large Jewish singles community out there.

The FAQ is a collection of documents that is an attempt to answer questions that are continually asked on the soc.culture.jewish family of newsgroups. It was written by cooperating laypeople from the various Judaic movements. You should not make any assumption as to accuracy and/or authoritativeness of the answers provided herein. In all cases, it is always best to consult a competent authority--your local rabbi is a good place to start.

[Got Questions?]Hopefully, the FAQ will provide the answer to your questions. If it doesn't, please drop Email to The FAQ maintainer will endeavor to direct your query to an appropriate individual that can answer it. If you would like to be part of the group to which the maintainer directs questions, please drop a note to the FAQ maintainer at

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© (c) 1993-2002 Daniel P. Faigin <>