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Frequently Asked Questions and Answers

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< Q11.6.17 TOC Q11.7.1 >

Question 11.6.18:
Death and Burial: Is it true that when a parent dies you are not suppose to go back to the cemetery for 30 days after the burial?


There are no halachic restrictions. In terms of tradition and culture, this could be combining two customs:

  1. To erect a stone by sheloshim (which is not universal).

  2. Not to visit the grave without erecting a stone.

Theoretically, someone who did visit their parent's grave on day 8, right after getting up from shiv'ah, would be obligated to erect a tombstone. Normally, the marker is not placed until 11 months after the funeral, so some tend not to visit before them. But this is only an informal custom, not at the level of a "are not supposed to".

The FAQ is a collection of documents that is an attempt to answer questions that are continually asked on the soc.culture.jewish family of newsgroups. It was written by cooperating laypeople from the various Judaic movements. You should not make any assumption as to accuracy and/or authoritativeness of the answers provided herein. In all cases, it is always best to consult a competent authority--your local rabbi is a good place to start.

[Got Questions?]Hopefully, the FAQ will provide the answer to your questions. If it doesn't, please drop Email to The FAQ maintainer will endeavor to direct your query to an appropriate individual that can answer it. If you would like to be part of the group to which the maintainer directs questions, please drop a note to the FAQ maintainer at

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